


Lungs Stay Steady

by canisbaileyilupus



Category: Ed Edd n Eddy
Genre: M/M, Major Character Injury, Not Suitable/Safe For Work, Sexual Content, Song Lyrics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-14
Updated: 2015-08-14
Packaged: 2018-04-14 17:12:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4572834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/canisbaileyilupus/pseuds/canisbaileyilupus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Edd (Double D) and Kevin had been the bully and the bullied since they were kids. But then, their relationship grows. A Song fanfic inspired by a song called "Lungs Stay Steady" by despntiel from SoundCloud.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Listen to this song while reading this fanfiction. I threw in some of the lyrics throughout the fanfiction and will enhance the feel of the story.  
> https://soundcloud.com/despntiel/lungs

Although he caused bodily harm to my friends and I in the past, I still cared for him. The way he rubbed his shoulders before he punched me in the stomach, or the smirk he gave me when I apologized was nothing more than breathtaking. Sure, I’m scrawny, short, a nerd. But I was proud for who I was. I could tell he was as well. He enjoyed swimming in the neighborhood pool, letting the sun’s rays shine against his lotion lathered skin. Sometimes, I would catch him working on his bike in his drive way. I watched his muscles work with his hands and fingers to tighten the screws with the wrench. He would wipe his forehead before he started shining the handles and other parts of the bike with a rag. When he finished, he would always rest his hands against his hips and sigh in satifaction. He did this often, perhaps twice a month. He rode his bike everywhere, the creek, the forest, downtown, the dirt roads on the empty side of town, even in the neighborhood’s empty pool during the winter. I spent hours watching his work on his bike.

It was senior year for Kevin and I. I was working on college based math and science while tutoring the other less advanced students. I had many reports from my teachers that got me into a wonderful college. But with insufficient funds, I was not able to get a dorm or a flight to my preferred college, so I was accepted online. It wasn’t as different as doing homework, anyway. Tutoring the students from high school was fun for some time. That is, until I began to tutor the very slow and unreliable jocks of Peach Creek High.

When I was a freshman, they had always picked on me. I ended up going to the emergency room due to the beatings, breaking ribs, both of my arms and even my right ankle. While my arms were being healed, Ed and Eddy visited me a ton of times, but my parents only visited once or twice. They paid for the medical bills but dropped the charges against the jocks. It was rude, but what could I do? I was a minor in a state that didn’t allow anyone under the age of eighteen to put charges on anyone. I decided to avoid people while I was healing. When my arms healed, I had to learn how to use my hands again, and since I was a quick learner, I adapted far faster than others who were in my position before.

When I returned to school, I caught up quickly in my classes, even though my teachers tried to give me some time. I assured them I was fine, and so they treated me nicely. The students were having a hard time with the idea though. Jocks almost messed with me, along with Kevin. They couldn’t get a chance to torture me as I was with a teacher at all times. Ed and Eddy grew to be the school druggy, going to parties and getting arrested. I stopped hanging out with them eventually to avoid my record from being anything but clean.

It had been almost three years since that day, and Kevin still beat me every chance he got. He didn’t throw many punches, but when I was alone, he’d trip me or throw something at me. I often got the punch in the stomach in the bathroom.  _Bleeding with my heart is proving fatal to me._

The reason I hadn’t left the school to do avoid this was because I loved him. I got to see him smile, even if it was from my misery. I got to see him laugh, even if it was because of a joke about me. I got to hear him talk to me, even if it was to call me a terrible and offensive name.

Kevin didn’t notice me, he didn’t see what he was doing to me, or why I had no trouble with his daily bully sessions. His green eyes always shimmered with this glow that brought me to my knees.  _I need to learn to love without wearing my emotions on my sleeve_. His glares and smirks caught my breath and made my heart stop for a moment. He never noticed anything.

That is until finals came in our senior year. The counselor asked if I could tutor a rather large nuisance that was Kevin Barr. As I accepted, she warned me never to let him ‘slack off.’ If he did, he wouldn’t be able to graduate and therefore he would have to be a senior again. I grinned at her and assured her I would help him no matter what.

“So, they chose you huh?” Kevin stood in the doorway of the class I sat in. His hat was turned around, just like it was when we were younger. I almost forgot to stop breathing. He walked up to my desk, sitting towards me in a seat in front of me. I set down a sheet of paper on the desk.

“Yes, and if you’d like to graduate this year, I suggest you pay close attention to me. Now, I will give you several questions to answer.” I grabbed a notebook from my messenger bag and pulled out a pencil and pen from the side pocket. “Here is your pencil.” I said, holding out my favorite pencil. As he was grabbing the writing utensil, his fingers brushed against mine.  _Just one touch could take my breath away._    
Then, I saw his eyes look into mine. His cheeks grew a bit pink as did mine.

 _Lungs stay steady._  “L-let’s get started.” I said as he nodded.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Continuation of "Lungs Stay Steady".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please listen to the song provided to enchance the feel of the story. Thank you for reading.  
> https://soundcloud.com/despntiel/lungs

“Alright, keep this sheet and study it for your calculus test next week.” I said, pushing the paper towards Kevin. He rolled his eyes as he took the sheet from me, folding it and shoving it in his jacket pocket. 

“Whatever. We done here?” Kevin stared at me, that same glare that makes me go weak in the knees.

“Yes, we will meet back here next week after your test.” As I finished my sentence, Kevin stood up and walked towards the door.

“Okay, bye.” He said, before he slammed the door. 

As I walked home, I felt my mind wander, remembering the moment he touched my hand as I handed him my favorite pencil. I stopped walking to stare at my fingers. My heart raced, thinking about Kevin again. Oh dear, my pencil! I slapped my hand against my face, forgetting that he had my favorite pencil. Rushing home was hard as I didn’t run often. Thankfully, my home was close by. And Kevin’s home was across the street from mine. A caught myself smiling before I made it to my street. 

Loud music played from my street, speakers blared some classic heavy metal from Kevin’s house. Stopping in my tracks, I watched Kevin take off his hat and proceed to ‘headbang’ to some System Of A Down song. I cleared my throat.

“Kevin.” I shouted. Kevin turned to me and turned off his music for a moment.

“What do you want, dork?" 

"You didn’t give my pencil back.” I said, laying my hand out. “Hand it over, please.” Kevin glared at me before he ran into his house. After a few moments, he came through his front door with my pencil and handed it to me. 

“Okay, you got your pencil now. Bye.” Kevin rudely said, turning up his music again. I covered my ears to avoid damaging my eardrums as I walked away.

Once I arrived in my house, I headed up my stairs to take a shower before making myself dinner. I hopped into my shower to get cleaned up. My bruises stung a bit as there were a few with scrapes.  _I’m getting colder standing still for so long_. The water pressure on my aching muscles felt nice though.

After eating dinner, I headed upstairs to work on some homework. I heard Kevin’s music still playing, and as I looked out of the window, Kevin was still outside, working on his bike again. I sighed, hoping to get some sleep that night. I had to tutor 3 students the next day and I will be damned if Kevin was the reason for my sleep schedule being ruined.  _I’m getting older waiting for something to move me on_.

I surprised Kevin, watching him turn around and scream like a girl. I walked up to him to tell him to be quiet and not disturb the neighbors, especially myself, so that some of us can sleep as we have important things to do. I giggled at his scream.

Kevin blushed. “Shut it, dweeb.” He said, slapping me in the face. I stopped laughing. 

“I apologize for my laughter, but I have important things to do in the morning and I would appreciate it greatly if you turned down your music a bit so I can get my full 8 hours, please.” Kevin’s eye brows pointed downwards, glaring at me again. I cowered below him, not because I was frightened even though I was, but each facial expression he made caused some sort of reaction from me. Then, Kevin knelt down, still staring into my eyes. 

“Whatever.” Was all he said. After he stood up and turned around to turn off his music, I watched him take his radio back inside his home, hearing him slam his door. I flinched at the abrupt sound. 

Arriving back into my room, I laid on my bed, feeling exhausted. “Goodnight, world.” I always repeated as I shut off my lamp and fell into a peaceful and quiet slumber.

Each day, I arrived at school the same way. I would walk through the double doors to enter the main lobby of the school building, passing by the thousands of students who waited by their lockers with their friends, kissing their boyfriends or girlfriends, normal teenager things.  _It’s getting lonely watching the world pass me by_. None of them ever seem to notice me walk through those doors, though. It was peace for me, to not get noticed. I had a moment to relax from the bullying. 

As I arrived into the classroom where I had to tutor a student in geography, the jocks almost had their hands on me. Thankfully, a teacher was entering the same classroom to begin setting up for the day.

Lunch was the the time of day where loneliness hit me most, though. I sat alone in my classroom eating my packed lunch alone. It gave me time to think about my feelings though. When the jocks caught me alone, they came in to beat me up and ruining my lunch as they covered me in it. I got used to bringing extra clothes to school when they’d do this. Sometimes Kevin would catch them and he would join in, throwing a punch here and there. I would smile when he threw a punch. No one really knew why I smiled and no one really cared.  _Does anybody notice? Lord knows I’ve tried_. When the beatings ended, I would go to the bathroom to change clothes and head back to the classroom and clean up before the lunch hour ended.

On days where I didn’t tutor, I was able to relax before walking home. I’d offer some of the teachers a bit of a break while I cleaned up some clutter in the classrooms, it gave me a chance to think again.  _To pick these feelings apart, to find the faults in all my starts_. Fridays were my favorite. No one was in school to bother me so I had the school to myself for an hour. I rearranged the books in the library as well as fixed desks in classrooms that were crooked. 

And on the weekends, I would spend watching Kevin from my bedroom window. Sometimes I would leave my house to do some shopping and occassionally run into Kevin in town. Eventually he would hurt me in some form before continuing his normal life. 

The weekend before Kevin’s calculus test, I ran into him at the corner store. I was picking up a treat for myself, as I will reward myself with Dutch Chocolate ice cream from Blue Bell. it was incredibly scruptuous and always gave me the feeling of happiness when I took small bites of it. And it was a special occassion. A television show premiere was coming on that night and I wanted to be ready to cry. I had the tissues and ice cream in my basket. Before heading up the the cash register, I walked into someone carrying some moon pies in their hands. Kevin stared down at me, almost growling. 

“M-my apologies, Kevin. I did not see you there.” I stuttered as I reached down to grab a moon pie from the floor, only to find Kevin’s foot stepping on my hand. _Bleeding with my heart is proving fatal to me._  

“We need to stop running into each other.” Kevin said, removing his foot to grab his snack and pay for them at the cash register. As I watched him walk out of the store, I paid for my ice cream and tissues quickly to walk with Kevin.  _I need to learn to love without wearing my emotions on my sleeve_.

“Salutations, Kevin.” I said from behind him. Watching him jump and screech made me want to laugh each time. Expecting to get another slap in the face, I flinched as he turned around. He was blushing. 

“You’re lucky I’m in a good mood. I don’t need your dorkness to spoil my night.” Kevin rubbed his face with his free hand. “By the way, what’s with the ice cream and Kleenex?” Kevin curiously asked.

I blushed at his question. “One of my favorite shows is premiering their new season tonight and I wanted to be ready.” For a moment, I saw Kevin’s eyes widen, then they went back to cowering at me. “So, why are you in a good mood tonight?” We started walking back to our homes next to each other.

“Same reason you got that stuff.” Kevin’s face grew a shade of pink, causing me to chuckle. 

Suddenly, our hands touched for a moment and I felt my heart stop for a second.  _Just one touch could take my breath away_. I turned to him.

“Have a wonderful night, Kevin. Enjoy the rest of your night.” I waved at him, knowing he would wave at me. Instead, he grabbed the collar of my shirt and planted a rough kiss upon my lips.

 _Lungs stay steady_.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Continuation of "Lungs Stay Steady".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please listen to the song provided to enhance the feel of the story. Thank you for reading.  
> https://soundcloud.com/despntiel/lungs

For a second, I felt my heart beat faster and yet it felt like it was pounding slowly against my ribcage at the exact same time. Our kiss was short, but it felt long, like time had slowed just for this moment to happen. His eyes were closed, and just as quickly the kiss happened, it ended. I couldn’t help but stand there and stare at him, my cheeks as red as a bright tomato. Neither of us spoke. He was the first to break the silence.

“Bye, dork.” He rushed into his house, slamming the door behind him. I still stood there, dumbfounded at the action he inflicted upon me. My phone buzzed, alarming me of my television show.

School never used to be a bad place for me. I never avoided the chance to learn something new or to break my perfect attendance record. No one really ever got my attention unless it was from a student I was tutoring because it usually had something to do with school work. The jocks would always tease me, calling out to me to get my attention just to hurt me.  _You call my name but I can’t turn my head_. I wouldn’t let it get to me.

The library was always my safe haven. There would be at least one authority figure there so no one would bully me. I would always be able to get work done there as well.  _I’m stuck inside a world where only I exist_. But one of my favorite things was listening to Kevin speak my name or a nickname he gave me. Of course, it was always followed by a joke about me or something.  _It hurts to hear your voice calling from so far_. I’d always sulk my head in silence as I walked down the hall to my class.

But that kiss was unexpected. I didn’t think he would do something like that, ever. At school that Monday, I avoided him like the plague. But just like the plague, he would eventually catch up to me. I was able to avoid him until after his calculus test.

“Yo, Double Dork.” He shouted as I walked down the hall from my last class of the day. I ignored him and continued to walk. He suddenly grabbed a hold of my wrist, causing me to turn around.

“You forgot about our tutoring meeting.” I blushed hard. It must have slipped my mind. All this thinking about that kiss during the weekend forced the reminder from approaching my awareness.

“Yes, let’s get this over with then. Library is this way, we will talk in there.” Kevin galdly followed.

“Alright, how did you do on your test?” I asked him. He handed his test to me, and I smiled. “That’s great, you have a B. I judge you’ve been studying.” Kevin nodded. It was strange that he wasn’t talking to me.

“What’s next?” He asked.

“Well, what is the next test you have coming up?”

“English.” Kevin scoffed. “I hate that class.” He rested his chin on his hand, elbow on the table.

“I have your english notes ready for studying.” I grabbed the notes from my messenger bag and handed them to Kevin. “Study them until your test next week. And don’t slack off.” I gave Kevin another smile. His cheeks grew pink and he opened his mouth as if to say something.

But nothing came. He just stayed silent for a few seconds. “Sorry.” Kevin said. I blushed intensely.

“It’s fine.” I replied, giving him a nervous smile.  _Maybe you’d be closer if you hadn’t pushed me away so hard_. “Well, you got your notes, I’ll see you next week. Goodbye, Kevin.” I quickly said, picking up my bag and throwing it over my shoulder. I left him alone in the library, walking all the way home without stopping.

When I arrived home, I looked at the clock. I could have a cup of tea and read a chapter of the book I was currently reading before showering and making dinner. As I took a sip of my tea, there was a knock at the door. Confused, I set down my cup and walked to the door.

I opened it to find Kevin standing there in front of me. “Edd. I need to talk to you.” He just kept throwing me off schedule.

“C-come in, Kevin. Have a seat.” I replied, asking if he wanted something to drink, but he quickly refused.

“What is it that you’d like to talk about?” I asked, curious.

“Are you really okay with this?” I tilted my head in confusion. Then, it hit me. “I mean, it sounded like you were, but you weren’t really.”

“Oh. I assure you, I’m fine. But are you fine? I can tell you are having some issues.” Kevin rubbed his forehead to wipe the sweat from his brow.

It took him a moment, allowing himself to take slow breaths to keep himself calm. “I like you.” He finally said. I froze in my seat.  _Now I don’t know which way to go_. I felt my heart stop again, feeling my heart beat against my ribs fast and hard after a second.

“I’ve been thinking about it a ton of times and nothing makes sense anymore.  _I’ve never been good on my own_.” We sat in silence as I thought about what he said. How is it that this jerk liked me? I didn’t understand. He had been beating me for years and at that moment he wanted to get all soft on me? What was I to think? I didn’t know.

 _Bleeding with my heart is proving fatal to me._  He punched me in the jaw, forcing me to move backwards against the couch. I felt a sharp pain in my jaw as I watched him stand up and walk out of my door. “What was that for?”

 _I need to learn to love without wearing my emotions on my sleeve_. I walked upstairs to take a hot shower and wash up before I started making myself dinner. I stood in front of my mirror, watching it fog up as I glanced at my naked reflection. It didn’t make sense to me, Kevin had never liked me, and I wasn’t sure why he was making notice of it that day. I watched the steam fog up the mirror, making a mental note to clean the mirrors and windows that weekend before my television show came on.

As soon as I started cooking my dinner, I noticed a note was on the table. I wasn’t sure how it got there, but I shrugged my shoulders. Dinner was delicious, letting the meal settle in my stomach as I sat back down on my couch to watch some late night television before heading to bed for the evening. During a commercial, I picked up the note and began to read it.  _Just one touch can take my breath away_.

“I’m sorry I hit you. I’m not good at dealing with my feelings. Beating you up makes me feel better and I don’t know why. Give me a call if you want. -Kevin.” His phone number was on the bottom of the note. Dropping the note on the table, I felt my breath shorten again.

 _Lungs stay steady_.


	4. Chapter 4: Final

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Final chapter of "Lungs Stay Steady".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter contains sexual content and major character death. Please read with caution. Enjoy the last chapter, I hope you like this.  
> Please listen to the song provided to enhance the feel of the story. Thank you for reading.  
> https://soundcloud.com/despntiel/lungs

I consistently tutored Kevin before his final exams, and he passed them thanks to my excellent notes. He tried to talk to me other times besides tutoring but I ignored him each time. Sometimes he’d try to talk about other things besides school work during our tutoring sessions but I kept telling him he was getting off topic.  _They say to wait because time heals everything_.

Days passed and he left me be including his jock friends during final exam days and weekends.  _I waited my fair share but I think they forgot about me._

After his last final exam he came knocking on my door. “What is it, Kevin?”

“Dude, look at this! I’m officially graduating!” He slammed the paper on my coffee table and I hugged him in congratulations. Then, he kissed me again. I pushed him away, covering my mouth. Removing my hand to see blood on my fingers, he had bit my lip. I stung, tears fogging up my vision.

I cleared my throat. “That’s wonderful, Kevin. Now you can leave me alone.” Kevin’s facial expression showed that he was worried, or rather afraid. “Please.” I pointed towards the door, watching his feet head out of my front door. As soon as I heard my doorknob click, I started to weep.

The night before graduation, Kevin visited me again. I was reading a book in my living room when he knocked on my door again. I invited him over via text message.

“Alright, what is it that you wanted to talk to me about?” Kevin asked, sitting down on my couch.

“This.” I pointed to him and then to myself. He nodded. I had time to think about everything. Now, I was ready. I was going to make my choice at last.  
I leaned in to kiss him, and he gladly kissed me back, grabbing the back of my neck. His fingers dug into my skin in my back as he pulled me in closer. His kiss got intense, causing some friction in my jeans to become quite uncomfortable.

He began to pull off my shirt, followed by his own. I pulled away to rush to my stairs. I called him over, inviting him up to my room. He followed my lead, watching me pull off my jeans and underwear before hopping in my bed. His motions were quick, pulling the rest of his clothing off and joining me. He kissed me again, his breathing heavy. He began to grind against my erection. I chuckled as he maneuvered himself over me. I pushed him off of me for a moment and grabbed a small bottle from the nightstand drawer. I handed it to him, allowing him to slide a finger in my ass, causing me to shiver in pleasure. He inserted a second finger, scissoring it over and over before lathering up his cock to enter me. The head was tough to get in. It was filling, though. I felt his cock slide in slowly, hearing him moan. He found it hard to control, wanting to pound in fast. I moaned when he hit my prostate. He smirked, causing me to moan softly and bite my scarred lip. He rushed down to my shoulder, biting all he could and causing blood to be released. I moaned loudly, causing his thrusts to become poundings. His fingers clawed at my chest, which gave him the reaction of me hissing in pure ecstasy. He seemed to like me in pain, and I seemed to as well. He pulled in closer to him, picking me up so he wouldn’t be able to exit my hole and repositioning ourselves. He pressed his back against the wall, allowing his hands to reach my back and claw at it. My back arched, moaning again and he thrusted upwards into me. I bounced against him, moaning again. We continued the motion for a few minutes. The feeling began to build up.

“I’m going to cum, Kevin.” I moaned. He nodded, allowing me to cum. I spasmed, feeling all of my muscles twitch as I ejaculated all over Kevin’s chest. Kevin followed after me, feeling his sperm fill my ass. I stood up off of him and ran straight to the bathroom while Kevin cleaned himself up.

When I came back to my room, Kevin was asleep in my bed. I looked at my phone, the time was about two in the morning. The feeling of pleasure quickly escaped my body as I sat in my rolling computer chair in front of my bed. I laid my face in my hands and thought a little more.  _They say to pray so the odds are on my side_.

I fell asleep next to Kevin, feeling his arms wrapped around me.

The next morning, I woke up to find Kevin gone. I got up and showered for the day.

As I stood in front of the full length mirror in my mothers room, I smiled a bit. I was finally graduating and it was a wonderful feeling. I sent Kevin a text message. “I’m heading to graduation. See you there."  _But whoever I am praying to has already left me behind._

He replied. "See ya.” The walk to graduation was glorious. I hummed happily as I headed towards the school’s gym.

 _Bleeding with my heart is proving fatal to me_. Unfortunately, the jocks I tutored who were friends with Kevin hadn’t passed their exams and were not allowed to graduate. Kevin didn’t run into me at graduation. When they called my name, I didn’t walk on the stage to receive my diploma. He panicked and left after his name was called. He searched for me, calling my phone.

I was barely conscious.  _I need to learn to love without wearing my emotions on my sleeve_. I heard Kevin screaming my name, continuing to rock back and forth as he called an ambulance. When they arrived he held my hand all the way to the emergency room.

Kevin fidgeted outside in the waiting room. He rocked back and forth continuously in his chair, standing up to get a snack or something to drink from a vending machine. Ten hours later, he had falled asleep for five minutes only to be woken up by a nurse.

“Sir, Eddward is awake.” Kevin exhaled as he followed the kind nurse to me. When Kevin walked into my room, I smiled. I reached for his hand and he quickly took hold of it.

“I was so scared. What happened?” Kevin began to cry. It was the first time seeing him cry, especially for me.

“Your friends jumped me on the way to graduation. I’m sorry I couldn’t make it. Congratulations.” I tried to smile, but it hurt to smile. I felt my heart pound as he reached for my face gently and kissed me.  _Just one touch could take my breath away_.

He laughed. “You are such a dork.” I smiled at the nickname.

“Dork…” I repeated. Then, I felt my chest tighten up. It was burning, like my heart had stopped beating. I thought I was having another panic attack, but what for? I didn’t know. My breathing was hard, sharp, stinging inside my ribcage. The monitors began to go off. Nurses were rushing in pushing Kevin away from me, I watched Kevin’s face turn from happiness to pure horror as my vision blurred.

“Edd! Breathe!”  _Lungs stay steady_.

Kevin cried as the nurses tried to start my heart again. _Stay steady_.

My breathes were quick, painful.  _Stay steady_.

My last breath, I said, “I love you.” My last memory was his face, tears stained across his freckled cheeks and his lip quivering as he shouted at me.

 _Help me breathe_.


End file.
